She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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