i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
