Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
