I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
did i just pee glitter
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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