we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Shame is for Republicans.
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