maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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