Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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