worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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