dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
