I hate your face
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
