I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i came on her dog
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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