i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
