So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
