I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
