so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
