See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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