I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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