Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize