get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Are my feet made of real feet?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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