So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
