his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
