That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
