Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
