i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
