what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
