I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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