Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
