Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize