Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
