so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
