I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
