I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
