I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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