i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
