I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
