I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
