To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
