i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
