You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
