Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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