Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
