"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
