What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
