you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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