Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
