bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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