after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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