Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
