I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
