That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
