So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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