got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
