it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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