my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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