I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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