I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize