I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
