I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
