Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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