why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
