I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
