if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize