I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
