Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
